Chapter 1: Pressure is Relative
Chapter 2: Tiny Victories
Chapter 3: The Oldest Woman in the World
Chapter 4: $200 Made Easy
Monday, October 31, 2005
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Chapter 4: $200 Made Easy
Ten minutes into his shift the first one arrives. Jay is outside, in front of the hotel by the gold revolving door. A yellow hummer pulls up. Jay jogs over to the driver side and helps the driver out of her car. The woman, dressed in a black leather mini-skirt, black leather boots, and almost as much makeup as a clown, tosses Jay her keys. " I’ll only be gone for an hour." she says nonchalantly.
" Okay, I’ll keep the car right out front then."
" Thanks. I appreciate it." She sashays her way through the revolving door while Jay moves her hummer up twenty feet.
" All too easy," he says to himself.
She said she would be gone for an hour but forty minutes later she has come back down, Jay patiently waiting by the valet stand. He reaches into his coat pocket, grabs her keys and hands them her.
" Wow that was quick." Jay said.
"Well y’know, it’s like that sometimes."
" Your car is right over here," said Jay, handing her back her keys.
"Thanks." She reaches into her purse and hands Jay a twenty. " You have a good night."
" You too," Jay responds, folding the twenty into pocket, his fingers feeling the texture of the bill. He wonders what she made in that forty minutes to hand him twenty dollars so casually. He comes to the conclusion escorts like her make more in a week than he makes in two months. The twenty dollars means nothing to her. She throws it away and Jay is content with picking it up. Repeat this scenario seven or eight times a night and this is Jay’s shift on the overnights. He will not have lifted a single bag or parked a single car in the parking deck, but when it’s all said and done he’ll have close to two hundred dollars in his pocket before sunrise. It’s 3am now, Jay and Natalie are in the kitchen making French toast.
" Did you find the strawberries?"asks Jay.
"Yeah, they were in the back. You sure you don’t need any help?"
" Nah I’m good. Grab the syrup will you?" he said, pointing towards a counter.
" You know you’re not suppose to do that?"
" What’s that?"
" Point."
" I can’t point? Why not?"
" A Bellman should never point. You should use an open palm technique." Natalie demonstrates for Jay now, she stands un front of him, motioning her arm in an open arm gesture, palms up. " It’s more inviting, more warm this way."
" More game show hostess too."
" Exactly," she laughs.
" I see. I’ll have to keep that in mind."
" How long have you been working here Jay?"
" Not long, almost a month. You?"
" Almost two years."
"Wow."
" I know. It’s a different life, overnights."
" Yeah. Why are you doing it?"
" I dunno. They needed someone to do it and I thought it would be a nice change of pace. You?"
" Only job I could find. I really need the money right now, y’know?"
" Yeah, let’s head back upstairs."
" Okay." Jay places the remaining French toast in to-go boxes and they head back up.
Natalie makes her way to the front desk. Jay catches up with another escort and walks back with a smile, his fist clutching another twenty.
" That’s dirty money Jay."
"Yeah, well it’s dirty money that’s payin’ the rent."
" You’re immoral."
"Actually, I’m amoral." grinned Jay.
" Whatever," said Natalie, looking at him with a hint of envy. " So are you from around here Jay?"
" Oh yeah, born and raised. I’m a second-generation American."
" Oh really? Where’s your family from?"
" The Philippines. My lolo, my grandfather, came here to America back in like 1934."
" Wow, how was he able to do that?"
" Back then," said Jay all serious now, arms folded," because of the Spanish-American War all Filipinos were considered to be American ‘ Nationals.’ So from like 1900-1934 all a Filipino needed to do was pay for his boat fare ticket to come over."
" So you’re grandfather got the boat fare..."
" Yep, got the boat fare and came over here to the U.S. He was only seventeen at the time too."
"Wow. Amazing."
" Yeah, and my lola, my grandmother, well she had come over here to go to college, to become a nurse."
" Wait, go back a minute. How did your grandfather become a national again?"
Jay smiled, " At the end of the Spanish-American War, when they signed the Treaty of Paris, Spain sold the Philippines to America for I think $20 million."
" You’re kidding."
" Oh yea, $20 million. Filipinos didn’t know it at the time and boy were they pissed."
" So a ‘National’ then is a..." Natalie paused. " What is it then?"
" It meant that you weren’t a U.S. Citizen but you weren’t an illegal alien either. After a period of time, my lolo was able to get his citizenship. Then he just started bringing family over."
Something about Natalie’s face, the warmth she exuded, rubbed off on Jay. He found himself wanting to open up and tell his whole family’s story to her. His skin had started to change it’s hue. But that wanting stayed in his head for only a moment, a split-second, and soon his body language changed, shifting away from her. Perhaps another time he thought. Slowly turning his head Jay looks at his watch and notices it’s a little past five. The hotel is beginning to awaken. The normal workers were beginning to arrive. The kitchen and housekeeping areas were beginning to bustle.
" I better head out front Natalie," Jay pointed out, " before the shuttle vans start pulling up."
" Yeah, it’s gonna start getting busy here too. We’ll talk more soon," she said.
" Yeah, definitely." He could feel the energy between them and he thrived on it. Jay wandered outside to feel the cool, crisp morning greet him. He wishes he could keep it like it was an hour ago, the whole world to himself while everybody was sleeping. How do people do it? How can people miss this beautiful part of the day? And why did he feel the need to give out his family’s history to someone he barely knew? It’s probably just boredom, a way to pass the time he surmises.
When he decided to kill himself, on that gorgeous Spring evening, Jay thought that now was as good a time as any.. His chest hurt. He was wrung dry. He was a stranger to himself. After turning the TV off, he sat at the edge of his bed and scribbled down a few notes on the back of a credit card bill. The short letter wasn’t addressed to anyone in particular, just your generic, run of the mill suicide note filled with hopelessness and despair. Jay then shoved a handful of sleeping pills down his throat. He did it not because his fiancee Caroline had left him, on the contrary. She left him two days before the wedding and he felt nothing. She was gone but he wasn’t sad to see her go. He knew it was impossible to be everything to her, but he came to the conclusion he meant very little, if anything, to her. He understood that, and he felt it. What do you do when the person you are about to marry is not only not in your heart but not even on your mind? Jay had come to the conclusion that couples went through three phases:
1) Sex-drive
2) Romantic love
3) A calm, deeper love with a sense of attachment
They had none of those things. When Caroline threw her engagement ring at Jay, screaming expletives about not loving him, Jay wasn’t surprised at all. He wasn’t hearing any new information. She was surprised when he calmly bent down to pick up the ring and tried to be comforting.
" I know," was all he could say.
" You know? That’s all you have to say? I said I don’t love you."
" I know that," he said once more, trying to hold her while she pushed him away.
" Then why the fuck are we getting married?!"
"I-I don’t know," he muttered, his hand running through his hair. This was more than cold feet. He knew, deep down inside that they both had settled. They were both approaching thirty and they both felt comfortable with each other. Their engagement was a white flag, a surrender, a defeat. How does one know the depth of sadness in another human being? They had settled for this life, for each other. They had been together for five years and they thought, it was time, let’s get married. That was the next logical step, right? That’s what you were suppose to do. That’s why they got engaged, time. They respected each other, but they weren’t in love with each other. Love wasn’t an integral part of their life. What he thought was reliable and would last a lifetime turned out to be broken down and not worth saving. He likened it to buying what he thought was a really good used car but after driving it home discovering all of its defects.
Why did they even want to get married? They had been sold a lemon, a passionless lemon. His first clue came shortly after they moved in together. There were still several boxes spread out across the living room floor. They flopped on top of each other on the love seat. She was lying down on his lap and felt this terrible chill of loneliness. It’ll pass he thought. But he was wrong. It grew stronger and stronger until it overwhelmed him. He didn’t realize she was going through the same thing. Still, they gave everything they had into that relationship and when it was all over they found out they both could no longer feel. How mundane and pedestrian. Jay’s world had collapsed.
Analise found her best friend’s body lying motionless on his bed. He hadn’t returned any of her calls and Isabella was worried. She had called his home and his cell and only got voice-mail. That wasn’t like him. At the time Analise felt the situation was manageable. She checked his wrist for a pulse, a finger underneath the nose for breath, and then calmly dialed 911. She waited patiently for the ambulance to arrive and rode with him to the emergency room. She was there in the waiting room, filling out hospital forms, making phone calls to family, while he was getting his stomach pumped. He had lost the love of his life they all thought, he lost her and couldn’t go on. At first, Analise was more like a doting mother than a friend. Every conversation began with a ‘how are you feeling’ or a ‘ are you okay ‘ question. Her composure began to unravel during the course of the seven and a half months she’s held her tongue. She never brought it up his death attempt with him, never even made reference to it. Analise felt it was enough just to be there for him, in case he needed her, anyone. Jay, if he had his way, would never bring it up either.
" Okay, I’ll keep the car right out front then."
" Thanks. I appreciate it." She sashays her way through the revolving door while Jay moves her hummer up twenty feet.
" All too easy," he says to himself.
She said she would be gone for an hour but forty minutes later she has come back down, Jay patiently waiting by the valet stand. He reaches into his coat pocket, grabs her keys and hands them her.
" Wow that was quick." Jay said.
"Well y’know, it’s like that sometimes."
" Your car is right over here," said Jay, handing her back her keys.
"Thanks." She reaches into her purse and hands Jay a twenty. " You have a good night."
" You too," Jay responds, folding the twenty into pocket, his fingers feeling the texture of the bill. He wonders what she made in that forty minutes to hand him twenty dollars so casually. He comes to the conclusion escorts like her make more in a week than he makes in two months. The twenty dollars means nothing to her. She throws it away and Jay is content with picking it up. Repeat this scenario seven or eight times a night and this is Jay’s shift on the overnights. He will not have lifted a single bag or parked a single car in the parking deck, but when it’s all said and done he’ll have close to two hundred dollars in his pocket before sunrise. It’s 3am now, Jay and Natalie are in the kitchen making French toast.
" Did you find the strawberries?"asks Jay.
"Yeah, they were in the back. You sure you don’t need any help?"
" Nah I’m good. Grab the syrup will you?" he said, pointing towards a counter.
" You know you’re not suppose to do that?"
" What’s that?"
" Point."
" I can’t point? Why not?"
" A Bellman should never point. You should use an open palm technique." Natalie demonstrates for Jay now, she stands un front of him, motioning her arm in an open arm gesture, palms up. " It’s more inviting, more warm this way."
" More game show hostess too."
" Exactly," she laughs.
" I see. I’ll have to keep that in mind."
" How long have you been working here Jay?"
" Not long, almost a month. You?"
" Almost two years."
"Wow."
" I know. It’s a different life, overnights."
" Yeah. Why are you doing it?"
" I dunno. They needed someone to do it and I thought it would be a nice change of pace. You?"
" Only job I could find. I really need the money right now, y’know?"
" Yeah, let’s head back upstairs."
" Okay." Jay places the remaining French toast in to-go boxes and they head back up.
Natalie makes her way to the front desk. Jay catches up with another escort and walks back with a smile, his fist clutching another twenty.
" That’s dirty money Jay."
"Yeah, well it’s dirty money that’s payin’ the rent."
" You’re immoral."
"Actually, I’m amoral." grinned Jay.
" Whatever," said Natalie, looking at him with a hint of envy. " So are you from around here Jay?"
" Oh yeah, born and raised. I’m a second-generation American."
" Oh really? Where’s your family from?"
" The Philippines. My lolo, my grandfather, came here to America back in like 1934."
" Wow, how was he able to do that?"
" Back then," said Jay all serious now, arms folded," because of the Spanish-American War all Filipinos were considered to be American ‘ Nationals.’ So from like 1900-1934 all a Filipino needed to do was pay for his boat fare ticket to come over."
" So you’re grandfather got the boat fare..."
" Yep, got the boat fare and came over here to the U.S. He was only seventeen at the time too."
"Wow. Amazing."
" Yeah, and my lola, my grandmother, well she had come over here to go to college, to become a nurse."
" Wait, go back a minute. How did your grandfather become a national again?"
Jay smiled, " At the end of the Spanish-American War, when they signed the Treaty of Paris, Spain sold the Philippines to America for I think $20 million."
" You’re kidding."
" Oh yea, $20 million. Filipinos didn’t know it at the time and boy were they pissed."
" So a ‘National’ then is a..." Natalie paused. " What is it then?"
" It meant that you weren’t a U.S. Citizen but you weren’t an illegal alien either. After a period of time, my lolo was able to get his citizenship. Then he just started bringing family over."
Something about Natalie’s face, the warmth she exuded, rubbed off on Jay. He found himself wanting to open up and tell his whole family’s story to her. His skin had started to change it’s hue. But that wanting stayed in his head for only a moment, a split-second, and soon his body language changed, shifting away from her. Perhaps another time he thought. Slowly turning his head Jay looks at his watch and notices it’s a little past five. The hotel is beginning to awaken. The normal workers were beginning to arrive. The kitchen and housekeeping areas were beginning to bustle.
" I better head out front Natalie," Jay pointed out, " before the shuttle vans start pulling up."
" Yeah, it’s gonna start getting busy here too. We’ll talk more soon," she said.
" Yeah, definitely." He could feel the energy between them and he thrived on it. Jay wandered outside to feel the cool, crisp morning greet him. He wishes he could keep it like it was an hour ago, the whole world to himself while everybody was sleeping. How do people do it? How can people miss this beautiful part of the day? And why did he feel the need to give out his family’s history to someone he barely knew? It’s probably just boredom, a way to pass the time he surmises.
When he decided to kill himself, on that gorgeous Spring evening, Jay thought that now was as good a time as any.. His chest hurt. He was wrung dry. He was a stranger to himself. After turning the TV off, he sat at the edge of his bed and scribbled down a few notes on the back of a credit card bill. The short letter wasn’t addressed to anyone in particular, just your generic, run of the mill suicide note filled with hopelessness and despair. Jay then shoved a handful of sleeping pills down his throat. He did it not because his fiancee Caroline had left him, on the contrary. She left him two days before the wedding and he felt nothing. She was gone but he wasn’t sad to see her go. He knew it was impossible to be everything to her, but he came to the conclusion he meant very little, if anything, to her. He understood that, and he felt it. What do you do when the person you are about to marry is not only not in your heart but not even on your mind? Jay had come to the conclusion that couples went through three phases:
1) Sex-drive
2) Romantic love
3) A calm, deeper love with a sense of attachment
They had none of those things. When Caroline threw her engagement ring at Jay, screaming expletives about not loving him, Jay wasn’t surprised at all. He wasn’t hearing any new information. She was surprised when he calmly bent down to pick up the ring and tried to be comforting.
" I know," was all he could say.
" You know? That’s all you have to say? I said I don’t love you."
" I know that," he said once more, trying to hold her while she pushed him away.
" Then why the fuck are we getting married?!"
"I-I don’t know," he muttered, his hand running through his hair. This was more than cold feet. He knew, deep down inside that they both had settled. They were both approaching thirty and they both felt comfortable with each other. Their engagement was a white flag, a surrender, a defeat. How does one know the depth of sadness in another human being? They had settled for this life, for each other. They had been together for five years and they thought, it was time, let’s get married. That was the next logical step, right? That’s what you were suppose to do. That’s why they got engaged, time. They respected each other, but they weren’t in love with each other. Love wasn’t an integral part of their life. What he thought was reliable and would last a lifetime turned out to be broken down and not worth saving. He likened it to buying what he thought was a really good used car but after driving it home discovering all of its defects.
Why did they even want to get married? They had been sold a lemon, a passionless lemon. His first clue came shortly after they moved in together. There were still several boxes spread out across the living room floor. They flopped on top of each other on the love seat. She was lying down on his lap and felt this terrible chill of loneliness. It’ll pass he thought. But he was wrong. It grew stronger and stronger until it overwhelmed him. He didn’t realize she was going through the same thing. Still, they gave everything they had into that relationship and when it was all over they found out they both could no longer feel. How mundane and pedestrian. Jay’s world had collapsed.
Analise found her best friend’s body lying motionless on his bed. He hadn’t returned any of her calls and Isabella was worried. She had called his home and his cell and only got voice-mail. That wasn’t like him. At the time Analise felt the situation was manageable. She checked his wrist for a pulse, a finger underneath the nose for breath, and then calmly dialed 911. She waited patiently for the ambulance to arrive and rode with him to the emergency room. She was there in the waiting room, filling out hospital forms, making phone calls to family, while he was getting his stomach pumped. He had lost the love of his life they all thought, he lost her and couldn’t go on. At first, Analise was more like a doting mother than a friend. Every conversation began with a ‘how are you feeling’ or a ‘ are you okay ‘ question. Her composure began to unravel during the course of the seven and a half months she’s held her tongue. She never brought it up his death attempt with him, never even made reference to it. Analise felt it was enough just to be there for him, in case he needed her, anyone. Jay, if he had his way, would never bring it up either.
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