Chapter 3: The Oldest Woman in the World

She sits there discreetly on the sofa, the television on mute, flipping through the news and a pre-season basketball game. Isabella quickly changes the channel as Carlos enters the living room, humming to himself. He kneels in front of her and lays a blanket neatly on her lap.
“You’re not fooling anyone, I know you’re watching basketball.”
“ What? What was that?”
“ Don’t be coy with me. You really shouldn’t be watching sports. I know how you get all riled up watching a game. You get too excited.”
“ Well it’s only pre-season so I should be okay.”
“Still, maybe you should watch a movie.”
“ There isn’t anything good on anyway,” sighed Isabella, “ there hasn’t been for years.”
Carlos grabs her arm as she tries to stand up.
“You know what I hate?” she asks.
“What’s that?”
“That it now takes me almost twenty minutes to get from here to the bedroom.”
Carlos covered his mouth with his hand and tried to stifle a laugh. The journey to the bedroom was a long, and arduous one, with a couple of pit stops at a floor lamp by the edge of the living room and a painting in the hallway. By the time she reaches the bathroom the phone rings.
“ I’ll get that,” frowned Carlos, “ don’t go anywhere.”
“ But it’s for me,” replies Isabella.
“Hello?” said Carlos, “ Oh hey, yeah she’s right here.” Carlos hands the phone over to Isabella,” It’s for you.”
“ I know it is, it’s my phone.” She tears the phone away from Carlos with all her strength. “ Hello?”
Carlos is trying to nudge her to her bed.
“ Oh really? He’s says he feels fine? Did you ask him about the pills then?” Carlos sticks his head out a little closer to the receiver, trying to listen to the voice coming from the phone but he can’t make anything out. He tries to get Isabella to sit at the edge of the bed but she keeps shooing him away with her free hand.
“ Well why didn’t you ask him?!” shouts Isabella, reaching a wall. She braces herself against an almost life-size rosary hanging on the wall. The beads start to shake. “ Well about the note?” she continued. She looks over to judge the distance from the wall to her bed. How did it get way over there she thought. “ Carlos, help me to the bed.”
Carlos throws him arm up in disbelief. “ That’s where I was taking you!” Carlos retorts as he guides her to her bed. He helps her sit down at the edge. She motions her hand for him to lower his voice.
“ You didn’t discuss the letter?” asked Isabella, now clearly agitated. “ Did you talk about anything? Did he like the food?”
She nods her head in agreement. “Okay, I guess that’s okay. Well call me when you know more. Okay, salamat.”
She hands the phone to Carlos and slumps down.
“ So was that Analise?” he asks.
“Could you make me some tea?”
“ What did she say?”
“ Some hot jasmine tea would be nice.”
“ Why did Jay stop seeing his therapist?”
Isabella looks up at Carlos and smiles.
“ Why did Jay stop seeing his therapist?” repeated Carlos.
“ He says he feels fine.”
“ And?”
“ And he feels it’s not helping him,” she says wistfully.
“ It’s a little too soon, don’t you think?”
“ Maybe, but we’ll see.”
“ He’s a strong young man, he’ll be okay.”
“ He’s not but I hope you’re right.”



Amidst the early evening silence she lies in her bed, arms neatly folded over her comforter. November is a melancholy time for Isabella. Summer’s gone and the sun has fled for more inviting pastures. The darkness creeps in earlier and earlier, uninvited. The light on her night stand is a beacon. She shudders and feels like a child again, afraid to sleep alone in the dark. Although she can’t hear anything, she’s sure the TV is on in the living room by the flickering of light underneath her bedroom door. Her eyes turn upward towards the ceiling as she begins to drift in and out of consciousness. She forces herself to keep her eyes shut. This is the part of the day she hates the most, this waiting for sleep. Throughout her life she has always been a light sleeper, waking at the slightest hint of noise. It infuriated her beloved husband Lucio so, God rest his soul. Sometimes she would wake up gasping for air, her hand clutching Lucio’s wrist. She would listen to him snore, lay her head gently on his chest and that would put her mind at ease. She found herself missing the sound of his heartbeat, the roar of his awful snoring. But it’s been over thirty years since she has heard Lucio’s heart and she sighs. Has it been that long? Almost everyone has left her now. Yet she still remains. How much longer she wonders. How much longer can she go on?
Carefully placing his weight on his footsteps, Boy stumbles slightly out of the kitchen and into the living room. He braces himself against the back of the sofa, where Carlos is sitting.
“ Why do you do that?” Carlos asks inquisitively, “ You know she can’t hear you.”
Boy laughs, patting Carlos’ shoulder. “ True, very true. Old habit I guess.”
“ She’s fine.”
“ Do you think she’ll want some more tea?” contemplated Boy as he sat down next to Carlos.
“ Nah, hopefully she’s asleep already.”
“ I doubt that.”
“ Me too.”
“ I bought some herrings today at the farmer’s market. I put a one in the fridge for the morning.”
“ Thanks Boy.”
Boy straightens his back and sits up. “ Someone at the farmer’s market was telling me an interesting story about herrings.”
“ Oh really?” said Carlos distractedly.
“ Oh yes, apparently they fart.”
Carlos shifts in his seat and lowers the volume on the T.V. “ They w-what?”
“ They fart. That’s how they communicate.”
“ By farting?”
“ It’s a social tool,” continued Boy, “ according to Canadian researchers.”
“ They fart?” says a disbelieving Carlos.
“ They fart. Herrings have been known to have an excellent sense of hearing but for the longest time no one knew why.”
“ And now they know why.”
“ Now they know why,” said Boy, in a scholarly tone, “ They make these farting noises, at night, in the dark, and the farting noises also produce bubbles.”
“Bubbles?”
“Bubbles. That’s how they talk, by breaking wind and making bubbles.”
“ Boy, herrings don’t fart.”
“ They do! Researchers just proved it not too long ago!”
“ I can’t believe we’re actually having this conversation.” Carlos stands up. “ I can’t wait to tell your mother that in the morning.”
“ Don’t tell her,” says Boy, his eyes getting big. “ She might be reluctant to eat one then.”
“You think so?”
“ Maybe.”
“ So what do you think they’re talking about?”
“The herrings?”
“ Uh yes Boy, the herrings.” said Carlos, not knowing why he was staying on this topic of conversation.
“ I don’t know. Perhaps the same things we talk about.”
“ Well we’re talking about herrings right now.”
“ You know what I mean, they probably talk about their lives, their wants, their desires.”
“ Uh-huh.”
“ I’m serious. Why wouldn’t they?”
“ Oh I dunno Boy, maybe it’s because it sounds crazy. What could a herring possibly desire?” Carlos turns around to go the kitchen and quickly jumps back. He puts his hand on his chest and catches his breath. He quickly comes to his senses but for a second there he thought he saw an apparition.
“ What the...you scared me!”
“You two are too loud. I can’t sleep,” said Isabella grumpily. She makes her way to the sofa.
“I didn’t think you could hear us. I’m sorry.”
Boy gets up and walks toward his mother. “ So sorry mom.” He takes her hand, “ Come with me, I’ll make you some tea. That might help.”
“ Oh I can do it,” said Carlos.
“ No Carlos, we’re fine,” said Isabella, motioning her hand at him. “ Go out and have some fun. You shouldn’t be stuck here with us old people.”
“ Yes Carlos, go out,” adds Boy, “ we’ll be fine.”
“ Are you sure?”
“ Positive.”
“ I don’t know,” said Carlos.
“ Really, mom will be back in bed soon, I’ll be going to bed soon, we’re fine.”
Carlos looks at the two of them. The guilt begins to wash over him. Deep down he knows they’ll be okay but still, if anything were to happen to them he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.
“ Go!” yelled Isabella.
“ Okay okay, I’m going. You have my cell number. Call me if anything comes up.”
“ If anything comes up I’m calling 911 first, but then I ‘ll call you,” she replies sarcastically.
“ Well good then. Okay, I guess I’m going.” He gives Boy a hug and turns to Isabella. “ Remind me to tell you a story in the morning.”
“ Tell me now.”
“ I’ll tell you in the morning.” Carlos smiles and grabs his coat. Halfway out the door he repeats, “ Call me if anything comes up, okay?”
“ We will,” said Boy, “ now go.” The door shuts and silence takes over for a few moments.
“ What does he want to talk to me about?” she asks.
“ Oh it’s nothing. Don’t remind him.”

Meanwhile, on another side of one’s world, Jay finds himself in the men’s locker room of his hotel, half-dressed, staring at his locker. His mind is drifting. He doesn’t hear a co-worker approach beside him.
“ Hey Jay.”
“ Oh,” said Jay a little startled, “ hey what’s up Mike?”
“ Nothing. You okay?”
“ Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just gearing up for tonight.”
“ Not much to gear up for, it’s been slow all night.”
“Yeah?”
“ Yeah, money’s been hard to come by tonight.” Mike takes out from his pocket an enormous set of keys on this plain but massive key ring. “ Here ya go.”
“ Gee, thanks.” Jay tosses the keys into his jacket pocket.
“ Alright I’ll talk to you tomorrow, have a good night.”
“ Thanks, you too.” Jay stands up, shuts his locker door and puts on his jacket. He heads upstairs to the lobby. This hotel lobby looks eerie at night. It’s a wide-open, empty space, cavernous, and bit off-putting. Jay makes his way to the front desk. He approaches a young woman, bored out of her mind. “ So how bad is it tonight?”
“ Pretty bad. The last group of folks for this convention arrived twenty minutes ago,” said Natalie, eyeing the computer screen, “ not expecting anyone else.”
“ Lovely,” says Jay sarcastically. “ Well if you get hungry or anything, let me know. I got the keys.”
“ I’ll do that.”
Jay starts swinging the rings around his fingers. Tonight Jay has multiple duties, doorman, bellman, and valet. And if the mood arises, short-order cook. But everyone is in for the evening, all the business people are here. For Jay, that meant not only a slow night, but a very lucrative night as well.


For a while now she sits there on the sofa, slowly sipping her hot jasmine tea. On the surface Isabella is quiet and still. But underneath her mind is racing, her heart is simmering. Boy is mindlessly flipping through the channels with the remote.
“ I saw how they were all looking at me today.”
There was no reply.
“ I saw them today. I saw how they were looking at me,” repeats Isabella.
“ Sino?” asks Boy finally, who?
“ Everyone at my birthday party. They all want to say something to me but they can’t.”
“ What do they want to say to you?”
“ Sumolangit nawa ang kanyang kaluluwa.” May she rest in peace she says.
“Oh mama, you know that’s not true.”
“ It is true!”
“ They love you.”
“ They are waiting for me to die.” Boy sighs loudly and walks over to her. He places his hand on her shoulder and tries to reassure her. “ You always say that mama.”
“It’s true Boy. Everything your father and I ever earned, everything we’ve ever saved, they want it now.”
“ Mama, you know that’s not true. Everyone loves you.” said Boy, kissing her on her forehead.
“ They’re waiting for me to die.”
Boy tries to change the subject. “What did Jay get you for your birthday?”
“Oh, he got me one of my favorite movies, the Hitchcock one.”
“ Rear Window?”
“ No, no, Shadow of a Doubt.”
“ Ah I see, that’s nice.”
“ Such a good boy.”
“C’mon mama, you’re tired. Let’s get you back to bed..” He helps her up, and walks her back to her bedroom.
“ They’ll have to wait.” she says sternly.
“ I know mama, I know.”
“ They’ll have to wait.” she repeats.

Chapter 2: Tiny Victories

For him this party was more than a celebration, it was a small miracle, and whether they were big or small, miracles were miracles. That’s what his life had come down to now, these tiny little miracles that he could hold onto his hands and put into his coat pocket. But miracle or no miracle, it was also a relief to be back in his universe, heading back home. There was something about that house that exhausted him. The wind had picked up some and Analise let out a yawn. Analise stretched her arm over towards the backseat. Something had caught her eye.
" Why do you have a map of Copenhagen in your car?"
" Oh I dunno."
" You do realize we’re here in America and not Denmark?"
" I know that." Jay didn’t like where this conversation was going.
" We’re you planning on going to Copenhagen?"
" No..."
" Because it’s very cold there this time of year."
" I know it’s cold in Copenhagen this time of year, most of the year in fact."
" Well I’m just saying now may not be the time to go."
" I wasn’t planning to go to Copenhagen Analise. " He was clearly irritated at this point.
" Jay," she paused, " why did you stop going to therapy?"
Jay bit the side of his mouth. He had been preparing himself for this all day.
" You know I really don’t believe in therapy, right?"
" But Jay it’s only been seven months."
" I know."
" Seven months Jay," Analise implored.
" I know, " he immediately responded.
" Seven months..."
" I’m feeling much better though."
"So why not stay with it then? Maybe give it a full year or something."
" Just say it why don’t you?" he barked, his eyes were focused on the road.
" It just seems a little strange to me, that’s all."
" Why don’t you just say it Analise? I know you’ve been waiting all day to say it. God knows how long you’ve been waiting to say it."
She hit him hard on the arm.
" Ow!" flinched Jay.
" Well God & I were the only ones to find you that night Jay." she said sharply. She was fidgety now, but she fought it off and continued. It pissed him off that it was here now, in the car, on the way home.
She turned to him and continued on. " We were the only ones to find you in your bedroom unconscious, with all those sleeping pills on your night stand and on the floor," her voice was shaky now. " I mean, I read your note Jay, I read your note."
" Analise..."
" I still have it in fact."
" What?"
" I have it."
" Wait, you still have my note?"
" Yeah, I do."
" You have my suicide note?"
" Yeah."
" Why in heaven’s name would you keep it?" He was trying his best to remain calm. It’s funny, he always knew that sooner or later he would have to have this conversation. He knew the conversation was probably going to be with Analise but for some reason he was furious that is was here now, in the car, on the way home.
Every time she was with him Analise couldn’t help but think of the night she found him. She could picture the evening perfectly. The musty smell of his apartment. The takeout boxes of Chinese food that were strung out along the floor like decorative guideposts to the bedroom. The stillness of his body, as he lay motionless,
completely still. His outstretched arm, pointing to the sleeping pills on his night stand. Then of course there is the note, appropriately placed next to the pills. Even in this unconscious state she thought, he wanted to be found. She remembers feeling oddly calm, going by his side, checking his pulse, placing a finger by his nose, feeling for breath. She remembers waiting after calling 911, the few minutes seeming like an eternity in her mind. She recalls calling Isabella from the hospital, hearing Carlos on the other end explain the situation to her, and the sound of her muffled crying. For once she was happy she had a spare key to his place. She felt guilty about it for some reason, the possibility she could invade his privacy seemed wrong to her. Now more than anything else, she wanted to take that key, invade his privacy, and discover what he was thinking.
" Ohmigosh, are you angry?" she said carefully.
"What?"
" Are you mad at me?" Analise’s curiosity was turning into confusion.
" No, of course not. I mean..." he said. She could feel the strain in his voice.
" I’m just trying to understand this, okay? I don’t know what’s going on with you."
" I know that Analise," he shrugged, " but why did you keep the note?"
" I don’t know. I guess I was hoping it would help me understand why."
" Look, I just feel strange talking about it here right now. Can we go somewhere? You wanna go get something to eat?"
" Get something to eat?!," Anallise said in mock horror. " We just left your great grandmother’s birthday party! We got two huge plates full of lechon and lumpia in the back."
" Yeah, I know. Dessert, coffee maybe?" offered Jay.
" You know I can’t. I gotta pick up Neil at the airport and you work tonight."
" I could call in sick and we could talk."
" Oh no you’re not. You just started that job."
" I know I know. You’re right."
" Come with me to the airport!" she screamed, a lightbulb clearly shining over her head.
" What?"
" Oh c’mon, we could go there right now, maybe get some coffee on the way there. We would have plenty of time to talk."
" I dunno. I don’t wanna intrude between you two."
" You’re not intruding Jay. Neil would be happy to see you."
" HAH!" yelled Jay, his head turned right next her ear. " He hasn’t seen you in two weeks! The first thing he wants to see is you, not you and your best friend."
She smirked. " Ooooooooooh, there’s a Starbuck’s here on the right. We can get coffee and dessert there."
"Are you even listening to me?"
" He won’t mind Jay. I know you think he doesn’t like you, but seriously, he does."
" How would you know?"
Their course set, they set their late afternoon plan into motion. Jay’s anger was subsiding into resignation. A Starbuck’s and a drive to the airport was as good a place as any to discuss one’s death wish he thought. Why not discuss it now?
" I just don’t get it. If it’s a medium, why not simply call it a medium? Why call it a grande?
" We’re not doing this now Jay," she said, annoyed.
" I mean, a tall shouldn’t refer to a small drink, right?"
She was pretending to ignore him now, her eyes focused on the menu board above. She smiles to the barista and orders her tall mocha. Jays hops along side of her.
" Make that two please." He smiles at the barista and mutters underneath his breath, " It was the same Analise."
" What?" she whispers.
" It was the same week after week," he said tight jawed.
" Do you want whip cream on that?" asked the barista.
" I do, " answered Analise. Jay nods no.
"If I felt something, Dr. Anderson would ask me how I felt about it. If I didn’t feel anything he would ask me how I felt about it."
" And?"
" Week after week, it was just him asking how I felt. I mean, I get that from you, y’know? Why am I paying someone else to for that? He felt more like my old high school guidance counselor than my shrink."
" Here you go, " offered the barista, handing Jay the tall mochas.
" Let’s say for the sake of argument that’s true, " she said in a parental tone, " but what about your anti-depressants?" She grabs her mocha from him and takes off the top.
" I’m thinking about laying off of those for awhile. I can always get back on my meds if I start to feel overwhelmed again," he says with a smile. " Okay, when’s his flight coming in?
"We got plenty of time," she says, checking her watch.
" I mean, what is a ‘ barista ‘ anyway?" Jay asks, entering the car.
" Not now Jay."
" Is that even a real word?"
" Jay, stay with me here. You’re doing so well right now. You got a new place, you got a new job, you’re in a good place."
" So why screw it all up?"
" Exactly."
" Well," he paused, " I haven’t been taking my medication for a couple of weeks now and um I..."
" What?!"
" I said I haven’t..."
" I heard you!" she interrupted.
" Look at me Analise. I’m okay. I feel fine," Jay said in his most reassuring voice, " really, I feel good."
" People like you don’t feel ‘fine’ all of a sudden," she said in disbelief.
" People like me?"
" You know what I mean."
" People who..."
" Suffer from depression, " she said, finishing his sentence.
" People who attempt suicide," Jay added.
Analise didn’t know what to make with what she was hearing. She’s no professional but he did seem like he was in good spirits. In fact, that was the reason why she wanted to talk to him. He appeared too happy if you asked her. For several months he was in such a state of disarray and now look at him, BAM, the perfect state of mental health. Gone was the sullen, tired, worn Jay De La Cruz and in comes the perky, happy go lucky Jay De La Cruz. How was that possible?
" I’m serious," Jay continued," if you notice anything wrong with me, sit me down and have an intervention or something. Bring my lola, hell bring Neil if you want. But I’m telling you, I feel good."


For the next few minutes they drove on in silence, Analise trying to digest the conversation they were just having. It’s not like she didn’t believe him, not totally anyway. She didn’t doubt the sincerity of his words. She doubted the truthfulness of those words. When Isabella had called her and told her Jay stopped seeing his psychiatrist, Analise felt her whole body turn numb. Why would he do that when he was starting to make strides, finding some semblance of normal again? What was he thinking? And why didn’t he tell her about it? She would just have to wait and see she thought. Patient, she would have to be patient. She glanced over to him and saw him softly singing along to the radio, his hands safely on the ten and two position on the steering wheel, grinning.
" Analise," he said turning to her.
" Yeah?"
" Your cell-phone’s ringing, don’t you hear it?"
" Oh!" she said, reaching for her purse behind her in the back seat. She covered one ear with her left hand and answered with her right, " Hey sweetie. Where are you?" She looks up at Jay and makes the universal expression for uh-oh, there might have been a mis-communication and someone might be upset. " I thought you weren’t coming in for another hour?" she paused, "oh, an earlier flight...I see. How long have you been waiting?"
" We’ll be there in like 10-15 minutes," Jay said while nudging her, hoping that statement would ease the tension.
" Oh okay, right outside, same place? Okay. Jay said we’ll be there in 10 minutes." Analise turned her head towards the window and slumped down a little. " Yeah, he’s coming. He’s fine," she mumbled.
Jay smirked and rolled his eyes. What had she been telling him he wondered? Probably everything he surmised. Neil is Analise’s fiancee after all. Those two told each other everything. Jay knew Analise was having a hard time accepting what he had said. He couldn’t blame her either. His explanation sounded ludicrous. But what he told her was more than words to him. He couldn’t deny the way he was feeling, this dramatic renewal of energy and bounce to his step. To him, the next step was obvious, strike out on your own, take on the world again.
" I got the time wrong. I could’ve sworn he told me his flight was coming in later today," began Analise.
" So he there’s now, waiting?"
"Yep."
" Has he been waiting long?"
" Not too long, half an hour."
" No problem, we should be there soon," Jay said, applying more pressure from his foot to the gas pedal. He changed lanes abruptly a couple of times. Analise grabbed the oh-shit bar above her and put her other hand on his shoulder.
" Whoa, relax. Slow down. There’s no need to drive so fast. Like you said, we’ll be there soon. He can wait a few more minutes. It won’t kill him."
Jay eased up a little on the gas pedal and changed back into the right lane. It took him a couple of minutes to calm himself down. Why was his heart racing? " I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking."
" It’s okay. You’re always driving so fast. Relax. Hey, the airport is at this next exit here."
" I know where the airport is," Jay replied tight-jawed, shaking his head.
" Sorry, force of habit."
" It’s okay."
" He should be outside in the arrival section, sour."
" Is he upset?"
" He hates it when I’m late. But he’ll get over it."
" He always does."
" Yeah he does. Jay?" said Analise, turning serious.
"Yes?"
" Pride’s a dangerous thing, y’know? I know you think you’re okay now but..."
" I am okay," Jay interrupted, " Trust me, I know what I’m doing, okay?"
Analise forced a faint smile to appear on her face.
" Seriously, the Xanex days are over. I don’t think they were really helping anyway."
They make their way through a never ending caravan of taxis, limos, shuttle vans, and plain ol’ regular cars, through a sea of people and luggage, of people coming and going. Neil was right where Analise said he would be, at curbside arrival, sitting on top of his bags.
" I’m so sorry, sweetie," she said, rushing out the car to greet him. She kisses him and Neil throws a glance at Jay, who can do nothing but shrug his shoulders. " Trunk’s open," yells Jay.
Neil and Analise get in the back seat. Jay feels like a limo driver now, a shuttle driver for couples.
" You must be very upset," said Analise reaching for his hand.
" Ah it’s alright. I had plenty of time to simmer down," replied Neil sarcastically.
" I’m sorry Neil. It was really my fault. We got to talking about things and lost track of time."
"Ah it’s okay Jay. Somebody got my flight arrival time wrong, that’s all, " Neil said, playfully staring at Analise.
" I honestly thought you said 7:15, " she said apologetically.
" I said 5:15. How does five sound like seven?"
" Okay okay, seven, five, five, seven, so I heard you wrong. I’m sorry." She buries her head into his chest and he puts his arm around her. He lifts her chin up and they begin to kiss but as if he suddenly realized where they were, Neil casually pulls himself away.
" Sorry Jay, I haven’t seen her in a couple of weeks. It can’t be helped. I have no power over it."
" I completely understand," agrees Jay, knowing full well what it’s like to have no power over such a thing. Seeing those two together in the back seat made Jay long for that kind of togetherness. He marveled how some couples possessed that calm yet still passionate attachment towards each other, even after being together for a few years. He looked up at the rearview mirror to their reflections. " Where to ma’am, sir?"
Analise laughs, " Oh stop it. We’re not that bad."
"Hey ," Neil shouts out front, " did you two work on Much Ado?"
" Uh well, we’re still getting some logistical items worked out," responded Jay.
" So it’s a no then. Geez you two," Neil said in disbelief.
Analise hits him on the arm and pushes him away. "We’re working on it sweetie. Aren’t we Jay?" She scowls at Jay and he laughs.
" Yeah we are, we’re picking up again on the eighteenth. We have a schedule now."
" And we’re going to stick to it."
" Okay, that’s great, said Neil, only half believing them. " And the birthday party?"
" Oh it was great, you really missed out. She’s still sharp as ever. She’s gonna outlive us all," said Jay.
" And look, I brought you a plate of food," said Analise.
" Aw thanks honey," said Neil, opening up the aluminum foil, " Oh man, lechon!"

Chapter 1: Pressure is Relative

" A raw herring and a glass of orange juice? "
" Yep"
" That's it?"
" That's it," Jay said confidently. He vigorously shifted the gearshift down to third as the car veered off the interstate and onto a barren, four lane road. Analise was looking at him incredulously.
" That's her secret to living a long life?"
" Yep, that’s her secret, a raw herring and a glass of orange juice every morning."
" There's got be more to it than that. Lookout, the turn’s coming up right here at this light."
" I know where to turn," Jay said grumpily.
It’s windy and gloomy today. The morning was filled with the scent of Autumn. The falling leaves were gingerly caressing the car as they drove further down the empty road.
" Why does everyone always say that?" he asked, his fingers tapping the steering wheel.
" I dunno, it just seems too simple."
" Sometimes life is that simple."
" So what does that make her?"
" I believe the term is called super centenarian. Did you know only one in fifteen super centenarians live to be 115?."
" Thank you for that information," Analise replied sarcastically. " I didn’t know that."
She was in a serious mood this morning. She had serious business to deal with today and her business was with him. She was focused and had been telling herself that she would bring it up today. So she reached over and turned down the volume of the radio. " Okay, so when are going to start?

For weeks now, whenever the opportunity presented itself, Analise would pester Jay about Much Ado About Nothing. They had been talking for months about writing a modern day screen adaptation of the Shakespeare comedy but for some reason or another they could never seem to get started. She was beginning to wonder if they ever would. They always argued over the opening scene, where Don Pedro, Don John, Claudio, Benedick and Balthasar are riding on their horses on their way to Messina. How could they translate their arrival to fit modern times?
" Okay, so the eighteenth, right? " she said.
" Right."
"I’m serious."
" So am I."
" You always say that though and then you cancel at the last minute. So next week, on the eighteenth we’ll start, okay? "
" I have this great idea for an airport scene," he mused enthusiastically.
" No, no, no airport scenes. I can’t stand gratuitous airport scenes in movies."
" It’s not gratuitous. What’s wrong with a scene at the airport? It’s an essential part of the scene. "
"And I’m not going to cancel," he mumbled. " How else are we going to show them arriving into town?"
" We just don’t need to have an airport scene. There’s no point..." Her voice trailed off.
She bit her lip. He clenched his fist, his nails burying deep into the palm of his hand. His palms were sweaty. These acts of discretion were hidden from view. He replied with a weak, reassuring smile and it bothered him. It seemed that everything he did lately was weak and reassuring. Slowly, he could feel himself begin to panic. This is one of those things about Analise that drove him crazy. She always seemed to corner him and bring up uncomfortable subjects at the most inopportune times. His breathing quickened slightly.
Jay turned to her. " You wanna do this now?"
" We’re not doing anything now. We’re just discussing Much Ado."
" You know what I’m talking about."
" Well now is as good a time as any."
" Here in the car? We’ll talk about it later."
"When?"
"Later, after the party," he said meaningfully.
She sighed. " Fine, we’ll talk about it tonight then."
"After the party."
" Right, after the party," she said triumphantly.
The thought of after the party made her inadvertently smile and she turned away, looking out the window back towards the world. This were at the precipice of his world, his family’s world, and it began to unnerve her. She didn’t like the look of this old, dilapidated neighborhood. Every house looked rundown and in the need of an extreme make-over. HGTV could do a whole seasons worth of shows on this street alone she thought. Where was the cast of Trading Spaces when you really needed them? Three more turns, two rights and then a sudden left, and soon they were upon the house. There were more cars than driveway space so there were cars on the front yard, cars on the neighbor’s driveway, and cars spilling out onto the cal-de-sac. It looked like the entire De La Cruz family had converged on this unassuming home to wish Jay’s great-grandmother another year of health and happiness.
Jay parked as close as he could, a few houses back. As they approached this small, two-story house, he felt like an enormous weight was being lifted from him. He usually enjoyed coming here, but felt even more so today. It was a special occasion and he felt his spirits rising. They wove their way through the obstacle course of parked cars and lawn ornaments towards the front door. They stood on the top step, hesitating just a little. He put his left hand on his hip and was about to get his key out of his pocket when he quietly said without looking at her, " Thank you for doing this."
" No, thank you for inviting me to her birthday," she said, her smile widening as she grabbed his arm tightly. They could hear the sound of a festive gathering from within. Jay noticed the door was already unlocked. He slowly turned the doorknob and opened the door. He thought to himself, " And so it begins."
N

This is Isabella, sitting, leaning ever so slightly forward on her cane. She looks quite tiny and fragile, her hair short and shockingly white. Her glasses look almost too big for her face and seem on the verge of falling off. The house is packed. Everyone is milling around her, everyone is making a fuss. People approach her quickly, softly grabbing her arms, her shoulders, giving her gentle hugs and congratulations. If she squints her eyes everyone looks like little blurry globs of light and color. They look better this way she thought, fuzzy little nameless ones, meandering about with no purpose or motive. The sight and sound of camera flashes, digital and old-fashioned, regular and disposable, could be heard throughout the premises. She had been given a certificate by the Guinness Book of World Records, proclaiming her the world’s oldest woman. Her family had it framed for her in a simple black frame, single-matted, and she had it hung next to the sink in the kitchen, her favorite room in the house. There were even reporters from the local television stations and the local newspaper there, asking her how she felt. She nods her head while her nurse translates her nods for her.
"She’s very excited about all of this," said her nurse Carlos enthusiastically. He appeared to be more excited than Isabella. " She can’t believe she would have ever lived to be 115 and is so thankful for everyone being here today." Isabella nods in agreement. She is more reactive now, but she wasn’t always like that..
This is Isabella, pondering, grasping her situation. " How did I get here?" she asks herself.
" What’s that lola?" asked Teresa, one of the grandchildren, hunched over her.
" Nothing, nothing," she whispered, looking up. She didn’t realize she had said that out loud. Her eyesight was getting worse everyday, her hearing wasn’t what it once was either, but still it was better than most.
" I’m Teresa."
" I know who you are," she replied, gently touching Teresa’s arm.
"Oh...um Happy Birthday lola!" She threw herself around Isabella’s neck, almost knocking her over.
" Teresa gets nothing, " she thought to herself, rearranging the list she had made in her mind. There was a check by Teresa’s name that was just mentally erased. The list was huge. Sure, only one of her seven children were still alive, but there were also twelve grandchildren and thirty-two great grandchildren to consider. Everyone here today, the conspiracy theorist in her believed, wasn’t here to celebrate her birthday, but rather to check on her condition. These are people in wait, people in flux, people in need. Isabella could feel their collective longing, their desire to possess and contaminate her home. But on this day, her birthday, Isabella felt like a tiny miracle. But she felt like a miracle no one her family really wanted. Well no one save one. Her family would have to wait a little while longer for her to pass.
" TULOY!"yelled an elderly gentleman, please come in! It was Jay’s lolo, his grandfather. He held Jay tight." Kumusata lolo? " asked Jay loudly- How are you? Analise cautiously steps into the house behind Jay and stares at the mass of humanity congregating about the house.
"Oh I’m fine. Fine fine fine. It’s been too long apo’," he replies, patting his grandson’s shoulders.
" I know lolo, too long." Jay stretches out an arm for Analise.
" Do you remember Analise? You two met last year." Lolo pushes his glasses even closer to his face and eyes her up and down. He reaches for her right hand while he shakes his head.
" Ah yes, of course, of course I do. How are you?"
"Mabuti naman," said Analise respectfully, I’m fine.
"Ano, you know Tagalog?! That’s wonderful."
" Well, only the little Jay taught me Uncle. "
" Ah, I’m surprised he knew even that much. Please, please call me Boy. "
" Boy?" replied Analise with a look of confusion. " I thought you’re name was Jesse?"
" No, Boy. Call me Boy." He led them through the living room.
Analise mouthed the word " Boy" towards Jay and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes. As they made their way into the house, Jay and Analise had to shield their eyes from the seemingly never ending assault of flashbulbs. He knew where to find her though. He placed his hands on Analise’s shoulders and guided her to the kitchen.
N

" There she is!" Jay quickened his pace towards her with his arms opened wide.
Isabella, looking up, showed surprising strength and stood up, much to the dismay of her nurse Carlos.
" Hold on, hold on, not so fast," Carlos chided as he held her arm.
Bracing herself against her cane, she started to make her way towards Jay. He was much faster however, and before she knew it he was beside her, giving her as gentle a bear hug as he possibly could.
" Maligayang bati sa iyong kaarawan!" he screamed, Happy Birthday to you!
" Oh thank you apo’"
She gently pulled herself away to get a good look at him.
" Ano, look at you. You look so much better. You’ve put on weight."
" Yeah, I guess so," said Jay patting his stomach. " Is that good?"
" Oh yes, very good. You were too skinny last time I saw you."
" So 115 huh? How does it feel?"
" It all feels the same after awhile apo’."
She pointed to the dining room, " Kumain ka na ba?"- Have you eaten yet?
Jay couldn’t help but laugh. " No not yet. We’ll eat soon lola. Do you remember Analise? You two met last year."
Isabella slowly turned to Analise and gave her a warm hug.
" Of course, yes I do. Kumasta?"
" I’m fine. Happy Birthday! Thank you for inviting me," said Analise appreciatively.
" No, no, so happy you’re here."
" Jay was telling me you eat a raw herring every morning."
" A raw SALTED herring," Isabella said with conviction. She playfully hit her great grandson on the shoulder. " You always forget that. It’s a raw SALTED herring every morning. And with it a glass of orange juice. "After that," she said seriously with a finger pointing in the air, " you can do anything you want."
Analise nodded. Isabella had Analise bend down a little so she could run her fingers through her hair.
" Ah such lovely hair."
Analise began to blush. Isabella reached over closer so she could whisper in Analise’s ear. " Is he talking about it yet?" Analise nodded no.
" I’m right here," Jay declared, " I can hear you, okay?" He separated the two.
Isabella motioned at Analise again, " We’ll talk later," she paused dramatically, " when he’s not around."
"Okay, I’ll get rid of him soon.," said Analise, winking at Isabella.
"Good. Now, eat, eat." Carlos helped Isabella back to her chair. Other family members reached out to touch her, to try and wish her a happy birthday but she shooed them off and made her way back to the kitchen. A chill went up and down Jay’s spine at the idea of his great grandmother and his best friend, huddled together in a corner, talking about him. Boy came up to Jay and Analise and handed them plates.
"Lolo, I didn’t bring any food," remembered Jay. He knew he forgot something. This was a pot luck get together. They usually were.
" Ah it’s okay, there’s plenty here for everyone."
The two surveyed the enormous table in front of them. Hordes of little children were moving in and out between them, making their way through the buffet table. Jay was making sure everything that needed to be on the table was on the table. He checked each item off in his head. Lumpia, which were Filipino egg rolls, check! Pancit, a dried, fine rice noodle dish, check! Chicken Adobo, check check!
" Who are all these people? " Analise inquired.
"How should I know?"
"Well aren’t these people your family?"
" Well yeah, technically they’re my family but I don’t recognize any of these folks," answered Jay matter of factly, placing a large portion of fried rice on Analise’s plate.
" Not so much!"
" I told you we were gonna eat a lot today. Ooooooh, empanadas, check!" Jay said, smiling brightly. He grabbed two empanadas and put them on her plate. They fill their plates and force a couple of children to get out of their chairs next to the buffet table.
" It’s amazing how good this is, " she surmised, her mouth full. " What are you looking for?"
Jay had been looking around, his head swinging back and forth like a pendulum.
" Something’s not right, I can’t believe there’s no..."
And at just that moment, the patio doors slid open and two men carried in...
" Oh my God, is that a whole pig?!" shrieked Analise, dropping her fork.
" You better believe it girl. That’s what I’m looking for, lechon!"
" What in the world is lechon?"
" It’s well, a whole roasted pig, obviously. It’s crispy pork." Jay helped his lolo Boy and his Uncle J.R. clear the table to make room for the crispy pork. Boy’s mouth was watering.
" Ugh, it looks disgusting," Analise remarked, her appetite at once leaving her body.
" Oh no it’s great! You got onions, vinegar, soy sauce of course, bay leaves, brown sugar, some..."
" Enough, stop it! " she interrupted.
" Aw c’mon Analise, you gotta try a little lechon. It takes hours to roast."
" I don’t care how long it took, it ..."
" Just one bite, please? Trust me..."
" It really is quite delicious," Boy interjected. J.R. came out from behind him, took a large cleaver and started hacking into it. Analise winced and begrudgingly accepted the small piece of lechon onto her plate. With her best friend and his grandfather watching, she took her fork and slowly put the pork inside her mouth. She instinctively began to chew and tossed Jay a look.
" It’s just not for me. I mean, it’s okay but..." she said while swallowing.
" It’s okay. I’m just glad you tried it. I guess that just leaves more for us, right lolo?"
Boy smiled a placed an enormous portion of lechon on Jay’s plate. To Analise it wasn’t actually that bad, quite good in fact, but for some reason or another she didn’t fell like telling Jay that. But she was happy to see him in such a good mood. It’s been ages. She moved back, in the distance with the wallflowers, the observers, and watched as relative after unfamiliar relative stopped by to talk to him. Did they know she wondered. Do they know what he did?
" So I hear you’re now a bellhop, " said one older woman. She towered over Jay, which is unusual for an Asian woman, wearing an outfit clearly one size too small for her frame.
" Actually I’m a bell-MAN," corrected Jay, " I don’t wear a hat, or gloves or anything like that."
" But you do wear a uniform, don’t you?"
"Well yes, I do wear a uniform. I look like I’m in a marching band."
" Is the money good?"
" The money’s incredible. You wouldn’t how much money you can make."
" Well that’s nice, " she replied. She patted his shoulder in a patronizing fashion and it annoyed him. With a look of consolation, she smiled at him and walked away., muttering something about wanting more pancit.
Later on Analise found herself at the buffet table again, looking for something sweet. She notices a dish that sort of looks like chocolate but she isn’t quite sure what it is.
" Hello, I don’t think we’ve met."
Startled, Analise turns quickly and standing in front of her is a short, slender, middle-aged woman with a rather large mole on her left cheek.
"Oh, hello," said Analise extending her hand, " I’m Analise, Jay’s friend."
" Ah, I’m Jay’s Auntie Teresa," she said, shaking Analise’s hand while looking her up and down. Analise felt uncomfortable having this older woman look at her so thoroughly.
" Nice to meet you Auntie. Say, what is that dish over there by the lechon?"
" Oh eat it, eat it, it’s very good."
"But what is it?"
" Oh it’s good, eat it."
" It looks a lil’ like chocolate..."
" Yes, yes, it’s chocolate," said Teresa, cutting her off. She takes a spoon and hands Analise a serving on a small plate.
" It doesn’t smell like chocolate."
" It’s chocolate, chocolate pudding."
Before Analise knew it, Jay was beside her, taking the plate from her hands and placing it back on the table.
" I can’t believe you Auntie," scowled Jay. He turned to his confused friend, " I am so sorry Analise, they do this every time to someone new." Teresa scowled back at Jay for reprimanding her and walked away, muttering something underneath her breath.
" What is it?" said Analise incredulously.
" It’s Dinoguan," replied Jay. Analise shook her head and looked at him funny.
" Dinoguan, that’s pig-blood pudding."
She quickly raised her hand over mouth and lurched over, as if the mere description of the dish made her want to vomit. " Pig-blood pudding?!"
" Yep, pig-blood pudding."
" Oh that is nasty Jay."
" Tell me about it."
" I owe you one."
Jay surveyed the room and could feel the looks and stares of his relatives burning his skin. He was never one to attend family functions and curiosity was getting the better of them.
" I think you better make the rounds Jay," said Analise empathetically.
"Yeah I think you’re right. Will you be alright?"
" Oh yeah, I’ll be fine. You?"
" I think so," sighed Jay. " Well let’s get this over with." And with that thought in mind Jay flashes a forges a smile and makes his way to the nearest relative in sight.
Sometime later on, in the kitchen, where Jay imagined they would be, Analise and his great grandmother Isabella, were conversing. The house is much quieter now, most of the family has come and gone. He is exhausted now, a good deal of his energy spent with relatives he hardly knew in conversations he can barely recall. " Oh I know, this is the most energetic I’ve seen him in months," Analise said with the utmost seriousness. She was on bended knee, kneeling right next to Isabella’s ear.
" Very happy today," Isabella confirmed.
" Yes, very happy."
" He promised to talk about it today."
" He did?"
" Yes, right after the party."
" You two should leave soon then, talk. Then you can call me."
" Right," Analise says, shaking her head, laughing.

N


In the distance, in his peripheral view, he could see them hunched over each other, laughing, hugging, talking. Jay could no longer indulge them.. He felt compelled to enter the room. Had they been keeping in touch? Had they been keeping tabs? He thought this was only the second or third time they ever met but he was obviously wrong. At this moment they seemed so much closer. Jay marveled at how eerily quiet the house had become. The kitchen, however, was still teeming with life. He wasn’t surprised at all to see garbage bags lined up against the wall. Carlos, who had been filling up the bags, called out to him. " Hey Jay, just the man I’m looking for. Gimme a hand, will ya?" " Sure, no prob," conceded Jay. He grabbed a couple of garbage bags from Carlos and together the two of them made their way outside. " Hey, go easy on her today, okay Jay? She’s tired, " Carlos said in a worried voice. Carlos kept on talking but at that point Carlos’ words didn’t register in Jay’s ears. He wasn’t listening. He wasn’t worried at all about his great grandmother’s energy levels. Even though she turned 115 today, he knew how active Isabella still was. All the others members of the De La Cruz family watched her every move, terrified of what could happen to her. Twenty years ago, several of Jay’s Uncles and Aunties had finally convinced Boy that it would be best that his mother be put in a retirement home. She would be around people her own age. There would be around the clock supervision. There would be a sense of community the De La Cruz’s felt she lacked. The problem was she didn’t need around the clock supervision. She didn’t really even need a nurse. During the course of her life she had never had a large circle of friends. In her later years what she enjoyed the most was living a solitary, independent lifestyle. Her body was naturally worn down by time, but she was unusually strong for a woman in her eighties. After six months she had had it with the nursing home. The whole mood of the place drove her crazy. She thought being there was pointless. The sound of her home was calling her. She didn’t need help cooking a meal or going to the bathroom. She still possessed her faculties. After her family finally relented, her only concession was to have a stay at home nurse. It was her way, she thought, of keeping everyone off her back. She outlasted three stay at home nurses before Carlos found his way to her doorstep. Her son Boy even moved back with her after his beloved wife Cora passed away a few years later. Jay thought there was a possibility that she might outlive them all.
" Jay, you okay?" asked Carlos, noticing his distraction. " Uh, oh yeah. I’m fine. Sorry." Jay placed the bags inside the garbage can. " She’s 115 Jay. I know you think she still has the energy of a fifty-year old but seriously..." Carlos’ voice broke off." I know, sorry. It’s just that I know her better than you think Carlos. I know you don’t think I do but she’s proved everyone wrong," Jay said, walking back up the steps. " She just gets excited when she gets to see you. You her favorite. That’s all I’m saying." " Well there’s not much of a selection if you ask me." As the back door closed behind them, Jay clenched his fist because he knew she was waiting for them. " You’ve been avoiding me," she said, her eyes fixed upon him. He had a hard time meeting her gaze. She looked almost sinister this way. But she waved for him lovingly to bend down and he couldn’t help but smile. " Why have you been avoiding me?" " I haven’t been avoiding you." She immediately flashed him her almost sinister gaze again. How could a woman that small and old still have so much presence Jay wondered. " It’s your birthday lola, " said Jay, masking his embarrassment, " I didn’t want to bother you." " You always think you’re a bother. You’re not a bother. I’m always happy to talk to you." She pulled him even closer with her cane and said, " Now you said you would talk about it after my party. So please leave so I can find out from this one what’s going on," said Isabella, reaching over to point at Analise. " Alright then," said Jay, throwing his arms up in the air in resignation, " we are outta here!" An exchange is made, Jay gives Isabella a sloppily wrapped box and she in turn gives Jay and Analise plates full of leftovers wrapped neatly in aluminum foil. " Let me know what you think," Jay said, planting a kiss on her cheek. " Oh I will," she replied, " I’m sure it’s wonderful."