Chapter 1: Pressure is Relative

" A raw herring and a glass of orange juice? "
" Yep"
" That's it?"
" That's it," Jay said confidently. He vigorously shifted the gearshift down to third as the car veered off the interstate and onto a barren, four lane road. Analise was looking at him incredulously.
" That's her secret to living a long life?"
" Yep, that’s her secret, a raw herring and a glass of orange juice every morning."
" There's got be more to it than that. Lookout, the turn’s coming up right here at this light."
" I know where to turn," Jay said grumpily.
It’s windy and gloomy today. The morning was filled with the scent of Autumn. The falling leaves were gingerly caressing the car as they drove further down the empty road.
" Why does everyone always say that?" he asked, his fingers tapping the steering wheel.
" I dunno, it just seems too simple."
" Sometimes life is that simple."
" So what does that make her?"
" I believe the term is called super centenarian. Did you know only one in fifteen super centenarians live to be 115?."
" Thank you for that information," Analise replied sarcastically. " I didn’t know that."
She was in a serious mood this morning. She had serious business to deal with today and her business was with him. She was focused and had been telling herself that she would bring it up today. So she reached over and turned down the volume of the radio. " Okay, so when are going to start?

For weeks now, whenever the opportunity presented itself, Analise would pester Jay about Much Ado About Nothing. They had been talking for months about writing a modern day screen adaptation of the Shakespeare comedy but for some reason or another they could never seem to get started. She was beginning to wonder if they ever would. They always argued over the opening scene, where Don Pedro, Don John, Claudio, Benedick and Balthasar are riding on their horses on their way to Messina. How could they translate their arrival to fit modern times?
" Okay, so the eighteenth, right? " she said.
" Right."
"I’m serious."
" So am I."
" You always say that though and then you cancel at the last minute. So next week, on the eighteenth we’ll start, okay? "
" I have this great idea for an airport scene," he mused enthusiastically.
" No, no, no airport scenes. I can’t stand gratuitous airport scenes in movies."
" It’s not gratuitous. What’s wrong with a scene at the airport? It’s an essential part of the scene. "
"And I’m not going to cancel," he mumbled. " How else are we going to show them arriving into town?"
" We just don’t need to have an airport scene. There’s no point..." Her voice trailed off.
She bit her lip. He clenched his fist, his nails burying deep into the palm of his hand. His palms were sweaty. These acts of discretion were hidden from view. He replied with a weak, reassuring smile and it bothered him. It seemed that everything he did lately was weak and reassuring. Slowly, he could feel himself begin to panic. This is one of those things about Analise that drove him crazy. She always seemed to corner him and bring up uncomfortable subjects at the most inopportune times. His breathing quickened slightly.
Jay turned to her. " You wanna do this now?"
" We’re not doing anything now. We’re just discussing Much Ado."
" You know what I’m talking about."
" Well now is as good a time as any."
" Here in the car? We’ll talk about it later."
"When?"
"Later, after the party," he said meaningfully.
She sighed. " Fine, we’ll talk about it tonight then."
"After the party."
" Right, after the party," she said triumphantly.
The thought of after the party made her inadvertently smile and she turned away, looking out the window back towards the world. This were at the precipice of his world, his family’s world, and it began to unnerve her. She didn’t like the look of this old, dilapidated neighborhood. Every house looked rundown and in the need of an extreme make-over. HGTV could do a whole seasons worth of shows on this street alone she thought. Where was the cast of Trading Spaces when you really needed them? Three more turns, two rights and then a sudden left, and soon they were upon the house. There were more cars than driveway space so there were cars on the front yard, cars on the neighbor’s driveway, and cars spilling out onto the cal-de-sac. It looked like the entire De La Cruz family had converged on this unassuming home to wish Jay’s great-grandmother another year of health and happiness.
Jay parked as close as he could, a few houses back. As they approached this small, two-story house, he felt like an enormous weight was being lifted from him. He usually enjoyed coming here, but felt even more so today. It was a special occasion and he felt his spirits rising. They wove their way through the obstacle course of parked cars and lawn ornaments towards the front door. They stood on the top step, hesitating just a little. He put his left hand on his hip and was about to get his key out of his pocket when he quietly said without looking at her, " Thank you for doing this."
" No, thank you for inviting me to her birthday," she said, her smile widening as she grabbed his arm tightly. They could hear the sound of a festive gathering from within. Jay noticed the door was already unlocked. He slowly turned the doorknob and opened the door. He thought to himself, " And so it begins."
N

This is Isabella, sitting, leaning ever so slightly forward on her cane. She looks quite tiny and fragile, her hair short and shockingly white. Her glasses look almost too big for her face and seem on the verge of falling off. The house is packed. Everyone is milling around her, everyone is making a fuss. People approach her quickly, softly grabbing her arms, her shoulders, giving her gentle hugs and congratulations. If she squints her eyes everyone looks like little blurry globs of light and color. They look better this way she thought, fuzzy little nameless ones, meandering about with no purpose or motive. The sight and sound of camera flashes, digital and old-fashioned, regular and disposable, could be heard throughout the premises. She had been given a certificate by the Guinness Book of World Records, proclaiming her the world’s oldest woman. Her family had it framed for her in a simple black frame, single-matted, and she had it hung next to the sink in the kitchen, her favorite room in the house. There were even reporters from the local television stations and the local newspaper there, asking her how she felt. She nods her head while her nurse translates her nods for her.
"She’s very excited about all of this," said her nurse Carlos enthusiastically. He appeared to be more excited than Isabella. " She can’t believe she would have ever lived to be 115 and is so thankful for everyone being here today." Isabella nods in agreement. She is more reactive now, but she wasn’t always like that..
This is Isabella, pondering, grasping her situation. " How did I get here?" she asks herself.
" What’s that lola?" asked Teresa, one of the grandchildren, hunched over her.
" Nothing, nothing," she whispered, looking up. She didn’t realize she had said that out loud. Her eyesight was getting worse everyday, her hearing wasn’t what it once was either, but still it was better than most.
" I’m Teresa."
" I know who you are," she replied, gently touching Teresa’s arm.
"Oh...um Happy Birthday lola!" She threw herself around Isabella’s neck, almost knocking her over.
" Teresa gets nothing, " she thought to herself, rearranging the list she had made in her mind. There was a check by Teresa’s name that was just mentally erased. The list was huge. Sure, only one of her seven children were still alive, but there were also twelve grandchildren and thirty-two great grandchildren to consider. Everyone here today, the conspiracy theorist in her believed, wasn’t here to celebrate her birthday, but rather to check on her condition. These are people in wait, people in flux, people in need. Isabella could feel their collective longing, their desire to possess and contaminate her home. But on this day, her birthday, Isabella felt like a tiny miracle. But she felt like a miracle no one her family really wanted. Well no one save one. Her family would have to wait a little while longer for her to pass.
" TULOY!"yelled an elderly gentleman, please come in! It was Jay’s lolo, his grandfather. He held Jay tight." Kumusata lolo? " asked Jay loudly- How are you? Analise cautiously steps into the house behind Jay and stares at the mass of humanity congregating about the house.
"Oh I’m fine. Fine fine fine. It’s been too long apo’," he replies, patting his grandson’s shoulders.
" I know lolo, too long." Jay stretches out an arm for Analise.
" Do you remember Analise? You two met last year." Lolo pushes his glasses even closer to his face and eyes her up and down. He reaches for her right hand while he shakes his head.
" Ah yes, of course, of course I do. How are you?"
"Mabuti naman," said Analise respectfully, I’m fine.
"Ano, you know Tagalog?! That’s wonderful."
" Well, only the little Jay taught me Uncle. "
" Ah, I’m surprised he knew even that much. Please, please call me Boy. "
" Boy?" replied Analise with a look of confusion. " I thought you’re name was Jesse?"
" No, Boy. Call me Boy." He led them through the living room.
Analise mouthed the word " Boy" towards Jay and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes. As they made their way into the house, Jay and Analise had to shield their eyes from the seemingly never ending assault of flashbulbs. He knew where to find her though. He placed his hands on Analise’s shoulders and guided her to the kitchen.
N

" There she is!" Jay quickened his pace towards her with his arms opened wide.
Isabella, looking up, showed surprising strength and stood up, much to the dismay of her nurse Carlos.
" Hold on, hold on, not so fast," Carlos chided as he held her arm.
Bracing herself against her cane, she started to make her way towards Jay. He was much faster however, and before she knew it he was beside her, giving her as gentle a bear hug as he possibly could.
" Maligayang bati sa iyong kaarawan!" he screamed, Happy Birthday to you!
" Oh thank you apo’"
She gently pulled herself away to get a good look at him.
" Ano, look at you. You look so much better. You’ve put on weight."
" Yeah, I guess so," said Jay patting his stomach. " Is that good?"
" Oh yes, very good. You were too skinny last time I saw you."
" So 115 huh? How does it feel?"
" It all feels the same after awhile apo’."
She pointed to the dining room, " Kumain ka na ba?"- Have you eaten yet?
Jay couldn’t help but laugh. " No not yet. We’ll eat soon lola. Do you remember Analise? You two met last year."
Isabella slowly turned to Analise and gave her a warm hug.
" Of course, yes I do. Kumasta?"
" I’m fine. Happy Birthday! Thank you for inviting me," said Analise appreciatively.
" No, no, so happy you’re here."
" Jay was telling me you eat a raw herring every morning."
" A raw SALTED herring," Isabella said with conviction. She playfully hit her great grandson on the shoulder. " You always forget that. It’s a raw SALTED herring every morning. And with it a glass of orange juice. "After that," she said seriously with a finger pointing in the air, " you can do anything you want."
Analise nodded. Isabella had Analise bend down a little so she could run her fingers through her hair.
" Ah such lovely hair."
Analise began to blush. Isabella reached over closer so she could whisper in Analise’s ear. " Is he talking about it yet?" Analise nodded no.
" I’m right here," Jay declared, " I can hear you, okay?" He separated the two.
Isabella motioned at Analise again, " We’ll talk later," she paused dramatically, " when he’s not around."
"Okay, I’ll get rid of him soon.," said Analise, winking at Isabella.
"Good. Now, eat, eat." Carlos helped Isabella back to her chair. Other family members reached out to touch her, to try and wish her a happy birthday but she shooed them off and made her way back to the kitchen. A chill went up and down Jay’s spine at the idea of his great grandmother and his best friend, huddled together in a corner, talking about him. Boy came up to Jay and Analise and handed them plates.
"Lolo, I didn’t bring any food," remembered Jay. He knew he forgot something. This was a pot luck get together. They usually were.
" Ah it’s okay, there’s plenty here for everyone."
The two surveyed the enormous table in front of them. Hordes of little children were moving in and out between them, making their way through the buffet table. Jay was making sure everything that needed to be on the table was on the table. He checked each item off in his head. Lumpia, which were Filipino egg rolls, check! Pancit, a dried, fine rice noodle dish, check! Chicken Adobo, check check!
" Who are all these people? " Analise inquired.
"How should I know?"
"Well aren’t these people your family?"
" Well yeah, technically they’re my family but I don’t recognize any of these folks," answered Jay matter of factly, placing a large portion of fried rice on Analise’s plate.
" Not so much!"
" I told you we were gonna eat a lot today. Ooooooh, empanadas, check!" Jay said, smiling brightly. He grabbed two empanadas and put them on her plate. They fill their plates and force a couple of children to get out of their chairs next to the buffet table.
" It’s amazing how good this is, " she surmised, her mouth full. " What are you looking for?"
Jay had been looking around, his head swinging back and forth like a pendulum.
" Something’s not right, I can’t believe there’s no..."
And at just that moment, the patio doors slid open and two men carried in...
" Oh my God, is that a whole pig?!" shrieked Analise, dropping her fork.
" You better believe it girl. That’s what I’m looking for, lechon!"
" What in the world is lechon?"
" It’s well, a whole roasted pig, obviously. It’s crispy pork." Jay helped his lolo Boy and his Uncle J.R. clear the table to make room for the crispy pork. Boy’s mouth was watering.
" Ugh, it looks disgusting," Analise remarked, her appetite at once leaving her body.
" Oh no it’s great! You got onions, vinegar, soy sauce of course, bay leaves, brown sugar, some..."
" Enough, stop it! " she interrupted.
" Aw c’mon Analise, you gotta try a little lechon. It takes hours to roast."
" I don’t care how long it took, it ..."
" Just one bite, please? Trust me..."
" It really is quite delicious," Boy interjected. J.R. came out from behind him, took a large cleaver and started hacking into it. Analise winced and begrudgingly accepted the small piece of lechon onto her plate. With her best friend and his grandfather watching, she took her fork and slowly put the pork inside her mouth. She instinctively began to chew and tossed Jay a look.
" It’s just not for me. I mean, it’s okay but..." she said while swallowing.
" It’s okay. I’m just glad you tried it. I guess that just leaves more for us, right lolo?"
Boy smiled a placed an enormous portion of lechon on Jay’s plate. To Analise it wasn’t actually that bad, quite good in fact, but for some reason or another she didn’t fell like telling Jay that. But she was happy to see him in such a good mood. It’s been ages. She moved back, in the distance with the wallflowers, the observers, and watched as relative after unfamiliar relative stopped by to talk to him. Did they know she wondered. Do they know what he did?
" So I hear you’re now a bellhop, " said one older woman. She towered over Jay, which is unusual for an Asian woman, wearing an outfit clearly one size too small for her frame.
" Actually I’m a bell-MAN," corrected Jay, " I don’t wear a hat, or gloves or anything like that."
" But you do wear a uniform, don’t you?"
"Well yes, I do wear a uniform. I look like I’m in a marching band."
" Is the money good?"
" The money’s incredible. You wouldn’t how much money you can make."
" Well that’s nice, " she replied. She patted his shoulder in a patronizing fashion and it annoyed him. With a look of consolation, she smiled at him and walked away., muttering something about wanting more pancit.
Later on Analise found herself at the buffet table again, looking for something sweet. She notices a dish that sort of looks like chocolate but she isn’t quite sure what it is.
" Hello, I don’t think we’ve met."
Startled, Analise turns quickly and standing in front of her is a short, slender, middle-aged woman with a rather large mole on her left cheek.
"Oh, hello," said Analise extending her hand, " I’m Analise, Jay’s friend."
" Ah, I’m Jay’s Auntie Teresa," she said, shaking Analise’s hand while looking her up and down. Analise felt uncomfortable having this older woman look at her so thoroughly.
" Nice to meet you Auntie. Say, what is that dish over there by the lechon?"
" Oh eat it, eat it, it’s very good."
"But what is it?"
" Oh it’s good, eat it."
" It looks a lil’ like chocolate..."
" Yes, yes, it’s chocolate," said Teresa, cutting her off. She takes a spoon and hands Analise a serving on a small plate.
" It doesn’t smell like chocolate."
" It’s chocolate, chocolate pudding."
Before Analise knew it, Jay was beside her, taking the plate from her hands and placing it back on the table.
" I can’t believe you Auntie," scowled Jay. He turned to his confused friend, " I am so sorry Analise, they do this every time to someone new." Teresa scowled back at Jay for reprimanding her and walked away, muttering something underneath her breath.
" What is it?" said Analise incredulously.
" It’s Dinoguan," replied Jay. Analise shook her head and looked at him funny.
" Dinoguan, that’s pig-blood pudding."
She quickly raised her hand over mouth and lurched over, as if the mere description of the dish made her want to vomit. " Pig-blood pudding?!"
" Yep, pig-blood pudding."
" Oh that is nasty Jay."
" Tell me about it."
" I owe you one."
Jay surveyed the room and could feel the looks and stares of his relatives burning his skin. He was never one to attend family functions and curiosity was getting the better of them.
" I think you better make the rounds Jay," said Analise empathetically.
"Yeah I think you’re right. Will you be alright?"
" Oh yeah, I’ll be fine. You?"
" I think so," sighed Jay. " Well let’s get this over with." And with that thought in mind Jay flashes a forges a smile and makes his way to the nearest relative in sight.
Sometime later on, in the kitchen, where Jay imagined they would be, Analise and his great grandmother Isabella, were conversing. The house is much quieter now, most of the family has come and gone. He is exhausted now, a good deal of his energy spent with relatives he hardly knew in conversations he can barely recall. " Oh I know, this is the most energetic I’ve seen him in months," Analise said with the utmost seriousness. She was on bended knee, kneeling right next to Isabella’s ear.
" Very happy today," Isabella confirmed.
" Yes, very happy."
" He promised to talk about it today."
" He did?"
" Yes, right after the party."
" You two should leave soon then, talk. Then you can call me."
" Right," Analise says, shaking her head, laughing.

N


In the distance, in his peripheral view, he could see them hunched over each other, laughing, hugging, talking. Jay could no longer indulge them.. He felt compelled to enter the room. Had they been keeping in touch? Had they been keeping tabs? He thought this was only the second or third time they ever met but he was obviously wrong. At this moment they seemed so much closer. Jay marveled at how eerily quiet the house had become. The kitchen, however, was still teeming with life. He wasn’t surprised at all to see garbage bags lined up against the wall. Carlos, who had been filling up the bags, called out to him. " Hey Jay, just the man I’m looking for. Gimme a hand, will ya?" " Sure, no prob," conceded Jay. He grabbed a couple of garbage bags from Carlos and together the two of them made their way outside. " Hey, go easy on her today, okay Jay? She’s tired, " Carlos said in a worried voice. Carlos kept on talking but at that point Carlos’ words didn’t register in Jay’s ears. He wasn’t listening. He wasn’t worried at all about his great grandmother’s energy levels. Even though she turned 115 today, he knew how active Isabella still was. All the others members of the De La Cruz family watched her every move, terrified of what could happen to her. Twenty years ago, several of Jay’s Uncles and Aunties had finally convinced Boy that it would be best that his mother be put in a retirement home. She would be around people her own age. There would be around the clock supervision. There would be a sense of community the De La Cruz’s felt she lacked. The problem was she didn’t need around the clock supervision. She didn’t really even need a nurse. During the course of her life she had never had a large circle of friends. In her later years what she enjoyed the most was living a solitary, independent lifestyle. Her body was naturally worn down by time, but she was unusually strong for a woman in her eighties. After six months she had had it with the nursing home. The whole mood of the place drove her crazy. She thought being there was pointless. The sound of her home was calling her. She didn’t need help cooking a meal or going to the bathroom. She still possessed her faculties. After her family finally relented, her only concession was to have a stay at home nurse. It was her way, she thought, of keeping everyone off her back. She outlasted three stay at home nurses before Carlos found his way to her doorstep. Her son Boy even moved back with her after his beloved wife Cora passed away a few years later. Jay thought there was a possibility that she might outlive them all.
" Jay, you okay?" asked Carlos, noticing his distraction. " Uh, oh yeah. I’m fine. Sorry." Jay placed the bags inside the garbage can. " She’s 115 Jay. I know you think she still has the energy of a fifty-year old but seriously..." Carlos’ voice broke off." I know, sorry. It’s just that I know her better than you think Carlos. I know you don’t think I do but she’s proved everyone wrong," Jay said, walking back up the steps. " She just gets excited when she gets to see you. You her favorite. That’s all I’m saying." " Well there’s not much of a selection if you ask me." As the back door closed behind them, Jay clenched his fist because he knew she was waiting for them. " You’ve been avoiding me," she said, her eyes fixed upon him. He had a hard time meeting her gaze. She looked almost sinister this way. But she waved for him lovingly to bend down and he couldn’t help but smile. " Why have you been avoiding me?" " I haven’t been avoiding you." She immediately flashed him her almost sinister gaze again. How could a woman that small and old still have so much presence Jay wondered. " It’s your birthday lola, " said Jay, masking his embarrassment, " I didn’t want to bother you." " You always think you’re a bother. You’re not a bother. I’m always happy to talk to you." She pulled him even closer with her cane and said, " Now you said you would talk about it after my party. So please leave so I can find out from this one what’s going on," said Isabella, reaching over to point at Analise. " Alright then," said Jay, throwing his arms up in the air in resignation, " we are outta here!" An exchange is made, Jay gives Isabella a sloppily wrapped box and she in turn gives Jay and Analise plates full of leftovers wrapped neatly in aluminum foil. " Let me know what you think," Jay said, planting a kiss on her cheek. " Oh I will," she replied, " I’m sure it’s wonderful."